Dear Diary. Today marks the end of the first week of my senior year of high school. It’s been tough for me. I’m not studying for exams, and I don’t know where I’m headed... The only thing I know is that the future is coming at me full force. And instead of fighting or running away, I’m just standing there. On the other hand… I have mixed feelings about a girl. She loves me despite everything. But she won’t let me love her. I can see how this is going to end. She’ll tell me she doesn’t love me and break up with me. I know I love that girl. I want to show her my love, but she doesn’t read my messages; she just keeps repeating the same things and scolding me. I feel at ease knowing she’ll never read this. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to not scare her off too much and give her some space, while the other part wants me to give myself completely to her and face whatever pain I might have to endure. But we can’t even agree on things you’d call “baby stuff.” I’m in a tough spot and I’m completely exhausted.
9.21.2026
Dear Diary. I couldn’t talk to my girlfriend at all today. She kept snapping at me. When I told her that, she said I was just a whiny baby, so I didn’t say anything. I don’t even care anymore. Just as I was starting to truly love her, she slammed on the brakes for me. So I’d like to give her an ironic “thank you” for that. I don’t feel anything toward her anymore except resentment and the thought, “What if she’d just let go of her stubbornness?” Despite that, I’m still going to fight for this relationship. Because something inside me tells me she’s the special one for me. I don’t see any problems with school or my friends. I understand the material now. I’m realizing I can actually do math. I rarely feel this genius in my whole life. I need to do a little more research on college, but I’m too lazy. Please let GPT Atlas come out for Windows too and ask the requirements for me. Joking aside, “No More Parties In LA” has become my favorite Kanye song after “Famous.” And no, I still can’t bring myself to like “Saint Pablo.” Shake that body, party that body, Shake that body, party that body, Shake that body, party that body, Shake that body, party that body..
9.22.2026
Dear Diary, I broke up with my girlfriend today. Something inside me tells me this is temporary. Because I didn’t break up with her out of resentment or hatred. On the contrary, I was ridiculously at ease. She might even have taken it as a sarcastic joke. I think she loves me, too. But her stupid friends are getting in the way. I don’t want to be with a girl who lets her friends call the shots and can’t stand up to them. My girlfriend’s friends are my friends too, and just because they talk trash about me or treat me differently doesn’t mean I’m going to treat them differently. My relationship with my girlfriend is a separate issue, so I don’t see a problem with continuing to talk to them. Other than that, everything’s perfect. I’m talking to two new girls right now. They call this a threesome. #$WAG. Anyway, I’m really glad I didn’t get emotionally invested in her. What if I’d fallen in love with her? I’d be hanging around her like a fan, trying to get her to go out to lunch with me.
Other than that, things with school and my friends are going the same as always. It’s getting a little better every day… I’m trying to get along well with them—both my guy friends and my girl friends… But it feels like I’m spending a little more time with the girls. The 40-minute class and 10 minute break definitely play a big role in that It would be a lie to say I only listened to Kanye today. I also listened to some Travis, Ace of Base, and a little local rap here and there. But before I put my phone in my school locker, I put TLOP on repeat and plugged in my headphones. So yeah, I spent most of my time again really diving deep into TLOP.
